It is now 2:00 am on Saturday, I have not posted since Wednesday. It seems I have ruffled a few feathers and caused quite a stir among my family and friends. I set out to be open and honest and in doing so I have upset some people. What to do?
I spoke on the phone with a close friend who read my last two posts. He was comfortable with the depth of the first. but the second one hit a chord, that made him feel uneasy. He does not understand why I feel a need to share such intensely personal issues with the world at large. He told me he had heard from a few other mutual friends who also questioned my motivation.
My estranged husband called me as well. He was livid. He demanded that I take down this blog immediately. He went so far as to call his lawyer this morning, who in turn called my lawyer, who then called me to discuss this blog drama. After a few minutes of explanation, I asked that she please read it and call me back with her thoughts. Her advice was to do one of three things.
The first is to change nothing, to keep writing just the way I am. I asked what might happen if I choose to do this. Her answer baffled me quite frankly. I could open myself up to litigation from my husband for slander. If he decides to try for custody this blog could be used to portray me as an unfit mother. I feel like I am in the twilight zone.
The second is to write it under a fake name.
The third is to get off the internet completely, in other words stop blogging.
None of these options seem fair or viable at this moment. I do not want to offend or hurt anyone. My intent in starting up this blog again is twofold. Writing for me is a very therapeutic, cleansing process. It helps me to sort through my feelings and in turn make sense of them. Secondly I want to write about my struggle to find balance in my life.
I am conflicted by this. So I opt to take another day or two away in order to make this tough decision. Do I continue writing and risk losing custody of my children or being sued for slander? Do I shelf it until things settle down and risk losing momentum in both my writing and my soon to be new career?
I will get back to this blog either way, so as not to leave you all hanging. I will end with a thought ever present in my mind that so happens to be one of my core beliefs.
Courage is the strength to stand tall in the face of adversity.
*(A version of this story is an excerpt from this week’s Noticing newsletter. You can read more about Noticing here.) * In a rare interview, Italian auth...